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The ending of every 80's song: How do I overcome being the conversation 'listener' all the time?

 If you don’t know the original meme that I referenced for this blog... you’re DEFINITELY missing out.

 The ending on every 80s song volume meme - MemeZila.com

If you’re introverted like me, you’ve definitely been in a situation where you just can’t find the right time to join an active conversation. Matter of fact, what would you even say when you did find the perfect timing? “So.. the sky’s really blue today..!” Yeah. That would instantly kill any conversation. 

And because of this I sometimes find myself fading away from a conversation like every classic 80s song. 

A lot of people can probably agree if I said that I have trouble trying to include myself in a conversation, even if it’s with people I’ve known for a long time. But sometimes people can misinterpret this as you are always thinking about something important. There were many times when my friends thought I was in a deep debate with myself because I wasn’t talking back or laughing in a conversation when I was actually just too focused on trying to "say something and not embarrass myself”. 

Or maybe you just feel more comfortable listening to a conversation than having the pressure to lead one yourself. Sometimes you just enjoy the presence of people and the sound of chatters, like how you turn on a TV because the living room is ‘too weirdly quiet’. 

However, whichever one you’re agreeing to, everyone’s the same when it comes to feeling “invisible” after a while in these conversations. You feel like you’re part of what they’re talking about but also not. 

(I know from my head that) It’s definitely important to step outside of your comfort zone and be active and engaged in a conversation, but doing so can obviously be more difficult than it sounds to overthinkers and/or introverts.

So how can you overcome the awkwardness of being the permanent listener in every conversation? Try to follow some of these steps:

  1. Don’t be afraid of making mistakes! You might be afraid that you say something stupid and embarrass yourself, but you can never know what others think before you even try. In fact, maybe people will find you funny for saying something silly! Remember, no one will recognize a mistake if you don’t act like it is!

  2. Ask questions! It’s totally okay if you don’t have something interesting to say! Just ask your friends simple questions like “how was the test?” or “what are you doing after school?” People love to talk about themselves!

  3. Loosen up! Joke! Laugh a lot! A stiff conversation is never comfortable to be in. Try to relax and crack a joke or two!

Most importantly, you shouldn’t ever find yourself worrying about what others might think of you when talking in a conversation. Conversations are meant to be informal and chill. Either you are talking out with the wrong people or you’re overthinking things that others don’t even think about. 

So stop disappearing from every conversation and let go of yourself a little!


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